Coffee Toffee Twisted Frosty.

My calorie counting has been going well.  I got a new app on my phone called "Lose It." It's fab.  You enter in your foods for the day and your exercises and it tells you how many more or less calories you can have to meet your weight goal.  My only issue has been finding out how many calories many of my favorite foods have.  I have bee craving Wendy's new Coffee Toffee Twisted Frosty for three days.  I looked it up online and it is 540 calories, a little less than half my daily allowance, so I have proudly steered clear.  

All of this counting lately has reminded me of the irrational lifestyle I lived while competing.  I hated my life.  I hated dieting, cutting out carbs and dairy, only having salads and nothing substantial.  No desserts ever and I hated every second of it.  But the ironic thing is I love how I looked.  I was super skinny and looked smokin hot in my swimsuit.  My good friend and I were discussing this at the pageant last saturday night.  How good we used to look and feel about ourselves.  It makes me wonder why we place such unrealistic standards on ourselves just to look good?  No one looks like that year round, obviously, or we wouldn't have to work so hard to get there.  It's kind of ridiculous if you think about it. 

With all that said, I have had some stress about competing again.  Whether or not I really want to.  I know I want to be Miss State and all that it entails, but I feel like getting there is the tough part.  I am not killing myself this year with unrealistic goals.  I worked my ass off the last two years to win the Community Service Award and didn't even become a finalist.  I put in hundreds of hours and nothing.  I'm not doing it again.  I am going to relax and enjoy this process, like I believe it is supposed to be enjoyed.