We have a had a beautiful week, and we haven't seen each other in two. I have missed him so terribly I can't sleep at night. I hate being away from him so long. We've talked every day, two or three times a day and it's been great. He went to Vegas with his buddies and the other men in his family this week. So of course, I prod. I poke and and I pick to find out if they did anything that I might not approve of. Sure enough, I got my answer. Of course it's nothing life threatening or horrific or even perverse, it's just something I would rather not be happening. So I get all upset and disgruntled, like that will change something and it irritates him. And of course, I can understand why. I am incessantly on a mission to make him perfect. I want him to never do wrong so that I don't have to worry about him. I don't ever want him to make mistakes and that's not fair. I feel horrible.
All I can do is pray. Pray for God to tell him the words that will make a difference. I can also pray that if need be, he uses me in the right way to speak to him. My devotion awhile back was about how our men aren't perfect and sure, we probably think they need to make changes, but we have to leave the changing up to the Holy Spirit. We (it refers to us a wives, but I'm not a wife yet.) are here to be encouraging, uplifting and supportive. It will never work to tear them down when attempting to build them up.
That's a hard pill for me to swallow I guess. Letting someone else have control. So maybe the lesson in all of this was actually for me. Who would have thought?
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