I made a 96 on my test today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited! I am posting it here because it's killing me that I can't twitter it. I'm one step closer to having my dream job and it feels fabulous. :)

That's all!

The Notebook

I hate chick flicky movies. Love stories. The kind that make your stomach turn and your teeth rot out of your face. The ooey gooey sickening love kind. I hate them because they aren't real. No one ever finds that kind of love. The love they can't live without. The kind of love where it's hard to breath, you have no words, and the only feeling you get is butterflies.

I have refused to watch any thing or read any thing by Nicholas Sparks. He use to be my favorite author until a few years ago. Until I became bitter about love. I let someone ruin love for me. Ruin everything that it means and what it stands for. Real love. The ooey gooey rot your teeth our of your face kind of love. I've never ever experienced that kind of love, until Maury.

Yes, I am doing it. I am succumbing to the evil. This entry is dedicated to the man that I love with all of my heart and soul. Maury.

What I have described above in the fist paragraph is exactly the way I feel about Maury. Thinking about him gives me butterflies. There really are no other words I could use to describe the way I feel about him. He's the man I see waiting for me at the end of the aisle on our wedding day. The one I see holding our first precious baby and most importantly, the one I want to grow old with in the nursing home. I never ever want to live without him. Thinking about it makes it hard to breathe.

Our love is no where near perfect. It's messy and all over the place. But we make it. We've made it through a lot the last 2 years, and I can honestly say because of him, I am better. I am a better person. I think differently. He's better too. He's a more beautiful person that the day that I met him and that's hard to believe. He surprises me everyday. He's smart, witty, hysterically funny, passionate, compassionate, ambitious, loving, caring, faithful, positive, loyal, self-controlled, laid-back, and so much more. The most important thing is, he loves me unconditionally and has since the day we got together. He has never once doubted his love for me. He supports me in whatever I do and for all that I appreciate and love him more than anything in the world.

See, I use to hate love stories.......... until I found my own. :)

Show and Tell

What's a Christian?

This is a question I have struggled with my whole life and I continue to struggle with it today. I think I'm a Christian. I strive to be like Christ. I want to love the world and the people in it, like he did. Isn't that what Christian is?

"Blue Like Jazz," changed my life. My friendship with the "girl who lives by the beach," as we will call her, changed my life. It's so mysterious to think of the most insane ways God brings the most perfect people into your life. Back to the book and beach girl. One single night in a coffee shop, changed my entire life forever and I am so glad for it. It's a book about getting away from over processed religion and getting closer to Jesus. It's a great read and I recommend it highly.

I hate religion but for some reason my soul craves it. I am a person who needs rules to be followed. Otherwise I feel lost. I can't make decisions on my own. Without deadlines, nothing and I literally mean nothing would get done in my life. I have to have structure, rules, guidelines. But I hate structure, rules and guidelines. I am independent and strong willed. I don't like it when people tell me what to do. I like to make my own rules, but the problem is, I won't make them.

I am a rare breed you could say. And this all brings me to being a Christian. I watched The Real Housewives of Orange County tonight and was throughly annoyed at Alexis, one of the wives. I feel like every single second she can, she makes it a point to make her Christianity known. She will stop in the middle of a lunch to pray for someone, invites her pastor and his wife over for breakfast to discuss a "spat" as she called it, that she had with another wife, and she talks incessantly about the devil and his "temptations." She disgusts me and makes me extremely uncomfortable. It's the exact same feeling that I use to get when my dad would play Hillsong worship music all day in the car on long road-trips and praise the Lord while he did it. I would silently pray that he would change it.

I don't know why I get these feelings, but I do. I wonder if what I am feeling is what others who may not be religious feel when we overtly express our feelings for Christ around or to them. It's like when I read a friend's blog and every single word is praise be to Jesus and I can't stand it! Does she live a normal life? Is it bad that I am even saying that right now? I don't know. I just want people to act normal and their Christianity be an amazing plus. I don't want to tell you my entire testimony until I know you and I won't. My friend Christa is a perfect example. She is so laid back and casual about her faith. On the other hand my friend Kate has 400 Bible verses on her facebook and says the Bible is her favorite book. Is it bad that I think that is so boring?

Maybe I am rambling but these are my thoughts lately. That and going to church. I don't go every Sunday. I don't think you should have to and I don't want to feel pressured to go, but I do. I want to go because I want to. Not just because it's routine. I love my church and I often love going, but I love to sleep too. I am tired these days and Sunday's are usually my only day off. I want to get a mani/pedi, go to the park or the bookstore, get coffee etc. Sometimes I feel like I get more out of my morning e-mail devotion than I have ever gotten out of church my entire 23 years of life. Sometimes I feel like the last place Go speaks to us is in church. He spoke to me in my front yard, while pulling weeds for crying out loud.

It's such a struggle for me. And maybe that's what being a "Christian" means. Maybe I'll never find out.

40 Days, 40 Nights.

I am positive the nights will be the hardest. I am giving up Facebook and Twitter for Lent. It's going to be a toughy, but I know I can do it.

I'm not Catholic, however Maury has some Catholic background and he gave up alcohol for Lent last year. This brought us to my current situation. We were at dinner for Valentine's day and I asked him if he was giving anything up this year. He said he hadn't really thought about it, and didn't know. About that time I was browsing twitter on my phone and he said, I bet you can't go a single day without checking your facebook or twitter and Wha-la! He challenged me to given them up for Lent.

It's going to be refreshing, I think. I am curious to see how well my grades will be doing around Easter. I'll let you know :)

What is Private? What is Sacred?

These are questions I have pondered lately. We live in a world dominated by the Internet, Gossip Columns, Facebook, and Twitter. I am guilty as well of using these tools to network, but how far are we going as a society when we post our most private lives for all the world to see?

Everyday it seems I am reading news of someone's recent biopsy or Doctor's visit on facebook/twitter. They go as far as to describe their diagnosis and treatment plan. We share our sonogram pictures of our unborn children, our wedding and dare you even, our honeymoon photos. This is for ALL THE WORLD TO SEE and take part in. I don't understand it. Don't get me wrong, I like to see an engagement photo or two and maybe even a baby picture, but I don't want to see the entire birth. I saw the "Miracle of Life" in high school and don't care to see it again until it happens to me, if then even!

It seems like we are so ready to place our most sacred of happenings and memories on display. I feel like it's only a popularity contest. Who's life is better than yours? Everyone wants their fair share of the ooey gooey goodness.

On another note. I can't help but cringe every time I receive a personal invitation to a wedding shower, personal shower or baby shower, on Facebook. What ever happened to the good old fashioned paper invitation? Why is it so hard to do that anymore? I enjoy opening an envelope to find a beautiful invitation waiting inside. It shows you care. Is it bad that I refuse to attend such an event? If you don't care enough, to take the time to pick out an invitation and send it to me, I don't care to come.

I will reiterate the popularity contest. People only create events like this so that they can feel good about themselves and see how many people will respond. And then they want the people that didn't get invited to see it and wonder why they weren't invited. I can't stand it.

This has made me want to boycott Facebook and all it entails. I am sick of the baby bump status updates. I don't care that you have heartburn today or that you lost your mucous plug. I also don't want to hear about how fabulous your husband is, how he is such a dream, you never fight and will be together forever. Get over yourself and your fake life.

Somethings are just better left unshared.

:::::::THIS JUST IN::::::::::

2/5/09 11:20 pm

Just checking out Facebook and noticed a friend of mine updated her status to include details of her UTI. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? This could possibly be the last straw. I honestly just don't understand people. Why would you ever want to put something like that on a social networking site?! There really are no words left.