It's so hard to work out.  I absolutely loathe it.  I found a rockin "Slim in 7 Days" work out in fitness magazine last week and decided to try it yesterday.  That was the first and last time I will ever do it.  

I don't know how I did it, 5 days a week, when I competed.  I get so cranky and end up leaving in a horrible mood after a work out.  I wish I could find a routine that I really love.  I love yoga and pilates but studio prices are outrageous.  I am not paying $55.00 per session.  I might as well go back to personal training.   

All this was brought about after seeing my old swimsuit self from competition videos.  I'm not tooting my own horn, but I looked good and I miss that.  I also miss the strength and agility I used to have.  I couldn't even do a regular push up the other day.  I almost tore my arm off.  How sad is that?! 

So now I am on the search for a good work out regimen.  Here's to hoping I find what I'm looking for. 

Dolla Dolla Bills Ya'll!

I feel like I am doing everything I can to advertise my online store and nothing is working.  I am advertising on facebook, google and I have sent out numerous e-mails and nothing.  I have had tons of visits to the site and tons of comments.  What's the deal?

My store is on zazzle. com.  It's a line of breast cancer awareness products that I designed myself.  They are cute and fun and I have had tons of complements on them, it's just that complements don't earn money if you know what I mean :)

I guess though, if I really think about it, I never wore a breast cancer awareness t-shirt or anything of the sort until my mom was diagnosed over a year ago.  Now I look for any way that I can to show support.  

That realization makes me sad.  Why do we have to wait until we are personally effected by something to be aware of and support the cause?  Maybe I will stop being so selfish and give 10% to Susan G. Komen.  That way my products will be a benefit to someone else and not just me. 

That, to me, sounds like a great idea. 

Running On E.

I close on my brand new house tomorrow.  Too bad I'm not the least bit excited as I used to be.  

Ok, yes deep down I am thrilled.  I am ready to be a homeowner.  I can't wait to have SPACE!!  But I feel like so many shady things have happened since we decided to buy the house.  Things are so tense with my parents and I.  Money is the root of the issue.  All I have heard about is how much this house is costing them.  I'm sorry, but they knew what all it as going to take to get this house, and if it was too much and they were going to complain, then why are we doing this?!  

I was so thrilled yesterday when I opened a random letter from the IRS to find they are re-doing my rebate and I am getting more than I expected!  So I call my mom in excitement to tell her and she says, "Wonderful! You can buy a few new things for your house!"  Then we go to a Memorial Day cookout at my grandparents and all that changes.  They now want to tell me how much things are costing them and that they are offended I didn't offer my rebate to help pay.  It's such a two faced situation.  Then I offer them the rebate and they say, "No that's okay, you keep it. " What the hell?  

All I know is I'm not playing this game with them.  I feel like they offer me the world only to hang it over my head.  I work really, really hard.  I payed for my entire college education to date with scholarship money and I have 16,000 left over for nursing school.  I feel like that NEVER gets taken into account.  I am working full time at the hospital and taking on extra shifts on the weekends to earn extra money.  I also have another side business working right now, selling a line of breast cancer awareness t-shirts and other products on zazzle.com, to earn extra money.  But still, they call me ungrateful and say that I "don't know how good I have it." They don't call they're expressions of costs to me "complaining" they call it "making me aware."  What purpose does that serve? None.  It makes for a really great argument though.  Congratulations. 

So I'm officially on the strictest budget of my life.  I am saving my money and getting the heck out of dodge, so to speak.  I really don't want this to cause a rift between them and I.  I love them and I want their support, but I refuse to live like this.  I will pray for peace and resolve for the situation.    

Let Me Know If You Need Me.

Famous last words, right?  I say this to every single patient I have when I leave the room after 4:00 p.m vitals.  I would soon regret that.

Last night was the night from hell.  Let me start from the beginning....

Friday afternoon was pretty rough as well, but not as bad because I had some help.  Last night I was alone.  Anyway, Friday shouldn't have been so bad because we only had 9 patients on the floor but we had 3 surgeries, 2 discharges and 3 admits, all at the same time.  I literally ran my rear end off, but all was well, again, because I had help.  One of the patients we got on Friday was a young woman, 11 weeks pregnant and had just had surgery for bowel obstruction and adhesions.   Not a big deal except that she was a thorn in my side all freaking evening.  She called out every hour on the hour for pain medication along with benadryl because the pain meds made her itch.  Now people will say, "What's the harm in that?" 

The harm is that you can't give pain meds and benadryl every hour.  Along with the fact that she was 11 weeks pregnant, it's bad enough she actually wanted the meds that often.  That much pain medication can do severe damage to the fetus.  On top of all of that, she would literally whine into the phone, making it extremely difficult to hear her.  It was just ridiculous.  She should have been on the L&D floor to be monitored, not on our pediatrics unit.  We get a lot of women's health on our floor because we do such a good job taking care of our patients.  We're notorious, in a good way, and we like it :)

So in the end, I kind of feel sorry for her.  Her husband came up only once, and stayed for an hour before falling asleep and going home.  When my mother had her mastectomy, my dad didn't leave her side.  Maybe she called out so much out of loneliness.  Who knows.  All I know is I got through it, and I'm off today.  

I wish the sun would come out. 

Training Day

I have to start training for the 3-day this week.  I am getting really excited.  It's going to be such a good time.  

Last year was so much fun except for the second day.  I couldn't move my legs, much less walk the second day, so I sat out.  I am not doing that this year.  I am going all the way, thus the reason for my training.  I trained a little last year.  I think the most I walked in a day was like 4-5 miles.  Definitely not enough, compared to the 20 that you have to walk each day during the actual event.  Plus I was a moron and didn't break in my new tennis shoes before hand.  The first day I wore them was the first day of the walk.  Smart move. I had blisters on the bottom of every single one of my toes. 

So Tuesday morning, it begins.  This year is going to rock!

Time Out

I have this friend, she's super cool and we get along great.  We are a lot alike, except in one aspect....

Lately she has relayed to me that she and her husband are wanting to start a family.  They believe that as a couple, they're relationship needs to be really strong before they have a baby, which I completely agree.  So she has told me recently that she has had to "give up" some friendships and cut back her hours at work in order for this to happen.  

That makes me sad for her.  I don't think having a child, or attempting to strengthen a relationship to have a child requires that kind of sacrifice.  

So lately she has been calling me and texting me non-stop.  I am a people person and very outgoing, but I cannot stand seeing too much of someone.  I am sorry, it wears me out.  Every time she wants to hang out it's like a marathon of friendliness.  She wants to meet for breakfast, work out, eat lunch and then lay out, for example.  

I used to be like this with one person and one person only, my best friend Nikki.  Nikki and I were inseparable in college.  We lived together and did everything together.  We were a package deal, you don't get one without the other.  I have never been like that with anyone else and I don't see it happening again.  I think I grew out of it, to be honest.  

I feel bad for feeling this way about my new friend, but I honestly feel like it's not healthy.  I think she's just plain bored with her life right now because of the other issues with having a baby.  I guess I just don't know how to relay to her that I am not a super hangy outie kind of person.  I like my space and my me time.  

Summer Sun

This weekend officially marks the beginning of summer, and I am so excited.  I am loving where I am in life right now.  I am glad I made the decisions I did .  I know I said I felt like I got screwed over by the rents with the house, but I really feel like it will all be okay.  I do hate living so far from Maury though.  I love and miss him terribly every day.  We will be together soon though.  I'm not worried. 

 Tonight at work was flippin crazy.  Two discharges, and three admits at the same time.  That makes for a lot of unhappy patients.  I feel and see the nursing shortage every single day.  I can't wait to be a nurse.  It's going to change my life and I am so ready for it.  

I got offered a position in the part time program at the community college where I got my associate degree.  It sounded promising until they told me it was every Thursday and Friday night and Saturday morning, year round with no breaks, for three years.  I was like, um, no thanks.  I am not giving up my Friday nights and Saturday mornings, every week, for three years. No way.  Plus, I could have my BSN in that same amount of time.  So the wait continues.

I am very interested in summer festivities.  I am laying out tomorrow with my mom and I can't wait.  I love a good book, some sunscreen and a pool.  There's nothing like it.