Nothing Lasts Forever.

Why not? I understand that cars, computers, cell phones and even our bodies aren't made to last forever. But what about love? What about marriage and relationships? It's an incredibly cynical theory that plays a part in our society. When a fight is irreparable in a marriage and divorce is looming some often say, "Well I guess nothing lasts forever." It's like we need these words to comfort ourselves. They make it okay, and give us the ability to cope.

My friend Kate blogged about this subject here recently. It was kind of ironic because I was in the car this morning and and heard a song that said the very words, "nothing lasts forever." Then I see Kate's post and I too feel prompted to write on the subject.

Call me a hopeless romantic. an optimist or even stupid, but I think Maury and I will last forever. There's nothing like being certain that he and I will be sharing a room in the nursing home. We will be the crazy ones racing our wheelchairs up and down the hall at night and I can't wait. I have no problem in believing that we will last forever. There's no one I would rather be with and share my life with. He makes me laugh till it hurts and makes me a better person.

So I defy you, naysayers....and maybe even challenge you. Find your forever and hold onto it. Because forever can be for real.

"I Have Called You."

"It is true that God may have called you to be exactly where you are. But, it is absolutely vital to grasp that he didn't call you there so you could settle in and live your life in comfort and superficial peace." - Francis Chan (The Forgotten God: Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit.)

This was my old youth pastor's status on facebook a few days ago. We all know how I feel about "Jesus status updates." but this one really caught my eye, and quite frankly irked me, as most "Jesus updates" do.

Don Miller blogged a while back about the will of God. How oftentimes Christians feel there is this superior plan for everything that happens in your life, and good or bad, it all serves a purpose. I don't believe that way, and I am confident that it's not really the definition of God's will for us. Don described God's will like a blank sheet of paper. He gives us a box of crayons (I'm the 64 color kind I am certain) and says, "Dream, draw out your life and then live it." I don't think he has everything planned, because then what would be the point in the joy of seeing us choose him and his ways on a daily basis? Then people ask, "Well, you say choosing his ways, doesn't that essentially mean that he already has the way and you have to figure it out?" No, I say. His ways mean, giving grace, showing humility, choosing your words wisely and encouraging others. His ways are the fruits of the spirit, not some perfectly mapped out, narrow road to righteousness.

So when I read this quote I was appalled. I do believe that God orchestrates certain relationships and situations to help you along in life. My relationship with Maury and the beach girl are two perfect examples. So why when I find myself in a certain phase of my life am I not allowed to enjoy it?

Why do evangelical religious groups believe that we have to hate where we are in life and we are not allowed to be comfortable there? It's like we always have to be looking for the nonexistent deeper meaning to our situation and be alert for the next "calling" and quickly move there. I feel like we are missing the point. God calls you to certain phases so you can grow. The bible also calls us to be joyous and content in every circumstance. (Philippians 4:11-13) and 1 Thessalonians 5:11-18) If you are always looking for your next phase you are missing what God has intended for you in the present.

I also firmly believe that God wants us to be happy. (Gasp! I said it) He wants you to enjoy where he has placed you. Sure there will be hard times and in those hard times it's perfectly fine to be disgruntled with life and it's obstacles. But, you must know that you will come out the other side and find many lessons learned. I just feel like the church where I came from wants you to fear the Lord and his iron hand so much, that you will never be able to embrace life and actually live it. I mean, I would God call you to a place where you aren't happy? I guess you could be uncomfortable for a short period of time, but that's the growing part. You will know when you need to move on to something else when you are certain you are done growing and have given all to your situation that you can.

And as for superficial peace, I am sorry sir, but there is no such thing. Sounds to me like a personal issue. Maybe you should sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.

For It Is Written...

I used to journal a lot. And by a lot I mean every day. I think my first journal started back in the sixth grade. I didn't want it to be a "diary," because a diary was so juvenile. So I called it journaling. "Dear Journal...." I would write at the top of the page in every entry. Like that was his name....journal.

I would mostly write about boys and friends. Who I liked at the moment and what girls were mean to me and so on. It was so juvenile, but those were my concerns at that age. Who was going to ask me to the prom and how much I despised my parents for not letting me stay out late to see a movie.

My last journal entry was almost two years ago. I stopped journaling, stopped writing my thoughts and feelings. I had anxiety. Really bad anxiety and I never wrote about good times. I always complained. This isn't going my way.. God help me with this and that and him or her. I tried to cover it up with pretty words and make it look like thanksgiving and gratitude but in all reality I was never thankful, I was worried.

I went back and read many of my entries this evening and I was caught feeling some of those same feelings. Worry, doubt, anxiety, confusion, discouragement. My journal was supposed to help me look back on my fond memories of who I was and my life at the time. When I look back at what I have written I want to cry. It makes me feel like I have made no progress, but I have. Leaps and bounds.

I have a grown up journal now. It's this blog. I am afraid that one day I will look back and be disappointed in what I have written. That I will have complained and not taken the time to relish in my moments of utter happiness. I want to remember my God moments, the times when Maury and I fall in love all over again. I don't want them to be faint wisps of air in my memory. I want my journal to look back upon for encouragement. Not of bingeing and purging.

So here's to the God moments and happiness so thick that it lays heavy upon my soul as I sleep.