Easy A.

Maury and I watched this movie last night. It was really good; funny, cute, but had a few slow moments. The main character, Olive, was hysterical as was her eclectic style and her family. I loved her parents most of all. Very laid back and witty, but what I loved most is they trusted their kid.

So the story goes, Olive helps save a homosexual friend from his daily trials and tribulations by agreeing to have fake sex with him at a party, so everyone could hear. He would be considered a god and she a slut, but she didn't care. She was helping a friend and his happiness was more important to her than her own reputation. Eventually other not so attractive/popular males find out she is doing such "deeds" and ask her to help them, which she does, reluctantly.

All the while, the "Jesus Freaks" at school, as they are termed, giver her hell because she is a whore. They call her names, tell her she is going to hell and say awful, horrid things to her and about her to every one. They say they want to pray for her, but they also want her to to get the hell out of their school. This is all coming from a group who sings praise and worship songs during lunch and changes the mascot at school from the Blue Devils to the Woodchucks. All in the name of Jesus.

They begin reading the Scarlet Letter in English class and one of the Lord lovers tells Olive she should start wearing a red letter on her clothing as she too is a skank. So, Olive does just that. She wears the most provocative clothing possible, with a big red "A" sewn into every piece.

During a visit to the counselor's office, she runs into Mary Ann, the leader of the Jesus Freaks, crying outside. She tells Olive her boyfriend's parents are getting a divorce. Olive does her best to comfort her and Mary Ann tells her, "But they go to our church! What will people think?" Olive says it will all work out and Mary Ann is convinced she has converted her and hugs her. She wants to be best friends with her now, because she is converted and they begin to hang out every day together.

A few days later, Mary Ann's boyfriend is in the doctor's office with chlamydia, and blames it on Olive when prompted by his mother (while she slaps him incessantly) to confess. His mother calls Mary Ann's mother and she calls Mary Ann at school and tells her. Mary Ann goes to Olive and slaps her in the face.

I wont' give away the ending, but it's a pretty good one. What I will give away is my opinion of the movie and it's moral story.

I wasn't disgusted at all with Olive's fake promiscuity, what I was disgusted with was the portrayal of the Christian faith in the movie. I feel like this is what people think Christians are really like, and yes I do agree there are a lot of them like this. But what about the rest of us? The one's who don't act like that at all? We get lumped into this stereotype that we live an outside profession of faith and on the inside we are rotten to the core. Even though she never proclaimed to have religious beliefs of her own, she acted more like Jesus in the movie than the Jesus freaks themselves. She put others needs before her own and helped her friends and even those she wasn't friends with. She never judged anyone, for anything. Now I am not saying it's appropriate to have fake sex all over school in an effort to be like Christ, but in all reality, I would choose her role over Mary Ann's any day. It seems to me that people who portray Christians and even people who claim to be Christians think waaaaay too much about what others think and show no compassion or love to those who don't believe the way they do. This was not Jesus' message at all. He came to save the sinners, not the saints. And for that matter, God is not impressed by how much scripture you can quote, how many times you pray and what you say when you do it or even how many worship songs you know. He cares about your heart and what you do for others. He has left us with a new commandment from the cross. "Love your neighbor as I have first loved you." I think if we were to be graded on such matters of faith, the latter would get us an "Easy A."

I haven't blogged in a while. I don't know why. Maybe I don't have anything interesting to say anymore. Seems like a lot of what I did was complain last year. I've done many an interesting thing, but nothing I have felt compelled to write about. So for the sake of updating, I will write about my last year, in honor of the new year.

Last year was a great year. I competed for my state title and placed third runner up. That wasn't exactly what I was hoping for, but it is what it is. I've decided to write a book about it. My pageant journey. I am well into the workings and ins and outs of book writing. Maury was the brilliant one. He pushed me to do it. He knows I love to write and thought my story might be an intriguing one. He's the genius in this relationship. He now declares to people in conversation that I'm writing a book and "we" are getting it published. I love him for being so supportive and I can't help that it's pretty sexy to have a man believe in you and your talents.

I did the 3-day again this year and finished #349 out of 3,000 people. I was pretty proud of myself considering I didn't even break the thousand mark the year before with Maury basically dragging me across the finish line. It was a great experience.

I just started my last semester of nursing school and am set to graduate May 6th with my pinning on May 11th. I can't believe it's finally here. I have worked long and hard. It will be so bittersweet.

In other news, Maury is moving here, which is pretty big news itself. I have prayed for this for a long, long time. I never in a million years thought he would move here. I thought I would graduate school and move to Texas to be with him. We have found a church we love here and our family and friends are here. It's so crazy to think that things are coming together this way. Not at all how I had planned. But I guess that's how God works. It's never quite the way you expect or dream, but it turns out to be the best. Maybe that's why I have had anxiety the last few months. Things are coming together, things I never thought would prosper.

Our relationship is changing. I feel like we are on the same road, working towards the same goal. He's taking the lead more and more and I am praying that God will help me be encouraging in every way that I can.

I interviewed this evening for a position as an extern in Mother and Baby at a local hospital here. I am excited to hear the news later this week. My jewelry line is taking off and I am selling more and more every day.

I am really excited to see where our lives will go, but I am scared too. I am scared it will all disappear in a minute. I want to hold onto the moments of security and really breathe them in. Because in times of uncertainty it's so easy to forget the security I once felt. So far, it's been a pretty fabulous year and I have a lot to be thankful for.

Happy Friggin Birthday to Me.

I guess I spoke a little too soon. This Saturday is my family outing to celebrate my 24 years on this Earth. Tonight my sister is coming home and bringing a friend. She moved away to go to college back in August and is coming home for Fall Break this weekend.

So the discussion about where to have my birthday dinner has begun. I was already informed that I could not pick an Italian restaurant because Leah hates Italian. Leah is my sister, by the way. Okay fine, I can do without some Italian food. I don't want her to whine and gripe all night about not being able to enjoy the dinner so I will take one for the team.

I choose a popular hibachi steakhouse here in town and I ask my mom to make reservations. I mention to my sister that we are eating there and I don't hear back from her. I get a call from my mother the next day and she asks me if the restaurant serves chicken. I say, well I am sure they do but it's Japanese style and my mother proceeds to tell me we might need to pick a new place because Leah's friend doesn't like Oriental food. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!

This was all a few days ago, I believe Monday or Tuesday when I decided where I wanted to eat and I also told my mom I would like my favorite bakery to make me a small red velvet cake. Not much to ask right? Wrong.

I see my mom today (Thursday, the party is Saturday keep in mind) and I ask her if she made the reservations. She said she forgot and she forgot about the cake too. So she asks ME to do it. Asks me to call and make the reservations and order MY OWN birthday cake. Do you know how embarrassing it is to call someone and place an order for your own birthday cake? "Hi, my name is Emma, I'd like to order a red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting. And I need it to say, Happy Birthday Emma on it. Thanks."

So the dinner place isn't open (weird) and they can't take my reservation and the bakery doesn't have time to do red velvet, they only have time for strawberry. I am not five and this is not a my little pony party so I will not be having a friggin strawberry cake. Thanks though.

So here we are, Thursday afternoon, no place to eat and no cake. I get online and start searching the top 10 restaurants in my town. Two French restaurants come up and I view the menus. They're pretty fancy but they both have chicken on the menu so I should be safe, right? Wrong again. Mom and Dad said it's too fancy and I need to pick a place Leah and her friend will for sure like and then they'll just take me next week where I really want to go.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Let me remind you these are the parents who threw my sister a 20th birthday bash at the country club complete with a DJ and catering just this summer. And I don't even get to pick the place we are eating? Am I being a brat about this or do I have legitimate grounds for being upset/annoyed here?

So I spoke with my mother tonight and told her to just pick a place. It really doesn't matter to me anymore. They've taken all the excitement and fun out of it. We'll see what happens.

I never write anymore....

I don't know why. I feel like maybe I have nothing interesting enough going on in my life to actually record it here, but that is the furthest thing from the truth. I actually have a lot going on in my life so maybe for the sake of blogging, I will write about it all.

It's October, my favorite month of the year. It's breast cancer awareness month and I am an October baby. I will celebrating my 24th birthday next week. Maury and I will be having dinner this Saturday with my family and then next week I am flying to be with him and celebrate with our friends. It's going to be a better birthday than last year, I can say that much for sure :)


Once October is over, you know what that means. THE 3-DAY!!!!!!!! The most challenging and rewarding weekend of my life. Maury's sister and I, Meredith, will be going it alone this year. Normally we have her husband and Maury holding our hands the whole way, but this year they aren't able to make it. So maybe we will just hold each others hands, haha.


My relationship is better than ever and we are inching closer and closer to marriage every day. I am so excited. He told me a few weeks ago that he was going to work hard and start saving up to by me some new "hardware." I asked what that meant (I totally knew, I just wanted to hear him say it) and he squeezed my left ring finger. I got butterflies :)


Nursing school is going exceptionally well. I am officially a level 3 student and loving it. We just finished our Quality of Life rotation which was really hard. It was a lot of death and end of life care. I met a 40 year old woman with stage 4 ovarian cancer. She was such an inspiration to me. I cried the whole way home from meeting her. She was extraordinary and changed my life.


Now we are on to OB!!! I can't wait to deliver my first baby, I am so excited. I am sure there's nothing like it. What's even more exciting is that one of our clinical days is on my birthday, so the baby and I will share a birthday. That will be so special. I can't wait.


And to top it all off, I am writing a book. Yep, that's right, a real live book. Stay tuned for updates.


Happy Fall!!

Nothing Lasts Forever.

Why not? I understand that cars, computers, cell phones and even our bodies aren't made to last forever. But what about love? What about marriage and relationships? It's an incredibly cynical theory that plays a part in our society. When a fight is irreparable in a marriage and divorce is looming some often say, "Well I guess nothing lasts forever." It's like we need these words to comfort ourselves. They make it okay, and give us the ability to cope.

My friend Kate blogged about this subject here recently. It was kind of ironic because I was in the car this morning and and heard a song that said the very words, "nothing lasts forever." Then I see Kate's post and I too feel prompted to write on the subject.

Call me a hopeless romantic. an optimist or even stupid, but I think Maury and I will last forever. There's nothing like being certain that he and I will be sharing a room in the nursing home. We will be the crazy ones racing our wheelchairs up and down the hall at night and I can't wait. I have no problem in believing that we will last forever. There's no one I would rather be with and share my life with. He makes me laugh till it hurts and makes me a better person.

So I defy you, naysayers....and maybe even challenge you. Find your forever and hold onto it. Because forever can be for real.

"I Have Called You."

"It is true that God may have called you to be exactly where you are. But, it is absolutely vital to grasp that he didn't call you there so you could settle in and live your life in comfort and superficial peace." - Francis Chan (The Forgotten God: Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit.)

This was my old youth pastor's status on facebook a few days ago. We all know how I feel about "Jesus status updates." but this one really caught my eye, and quite frankly irked me, as most "Jesus updates" do.

Don Miller blogged a while back about the will of God. How oftentimes Christians feel there is this superior plan for everything that happens in your life, and good or bad, it all serves a purpose. I don't believe that way, and I am confident that it's not really the definition of God's will for us. Don described God's will like a blank sheet of paper. He gives us a box of crayons (I'm the 64 color kind I am certain) and says, "Dream, draw out your life and then live it." I don't think he has everything planned, because then what would be the point in the joy of seeing us choose him and his ways on a daily basis? Then people ask, "Well, you say choosing his ways, doesn't that essentially mean that he already has the way and you have to figure it out?" No, I say. His ways mean, giving grace, showing humility, choosing your words wisely and encouraging others. His ways are the fruits of the spirit, not some perfectly mapped out, narrow road to righteousness.

So when I read this quote I was appalled. I do believe that God orchestrates certain relationships and situations to help you along in life. My relationship with Maury and the beach girl are two perfect examples. So why when I find myself in a certain phase of my life am I not allowed to enjoy it?

Why do evangelical religious groups believe that we have to hate where we are in life and we are not allowed to be comfortable there? It's like we always have to be looking for the nonexistent deeper meaning to our situation and be alert for the next "calling" and quickly move there. I feel like we are missing the point. God calls you to certain phases so you can grow. The bible also calls us to be joyous and content in every circumstance. (Philippians 4:11-13) and 1 Thessalonians 5:11-18) If you are always looking for your next phase you are missing what God has intended for you in the present.

I also firmly believe that God wants us to be happy. (Gasp! I said it) He wants you to enjoy where he has placed you. Sure there will be hard times and in those hard times it's perfectly fine to be disgruntled with life and it's obstacles. But, you must know that you will come out the other side and find many lessons learned. I just feel like the church where I came from wants you to fear the Lord and his iron hand so much, that you will never be able to embrace life and actually live it. I mean, I would God call you to a place where you aren't happy? I guess you could be uncomfortable for a short period of time, but that's the growing part. You will know when you need to move on to something else when you are certain you are done growing and have given all to your situation that you can.

And as for superficial peace, I am sorry sir, but there is no such thing. Sounds to me like a personal issue. Maybe you should sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.

For It Is Written...

I used to journal a lot. And by a lot I mean every day. I think my first journal started back in the sixth grade. I didn't want it to be a "diary," because a diary was so juvenile. So I called it journaling. "Dear Journal...." I would write at the top of the page in every entry. Like that was his name....journal.

I would mostly write about boys and friends. Who I liked at the moment and what girls were mean to me and so on. It was so juvenile, but those were my concerns at that age. Who was going to ask me to the prom and how much I despised my parents for not letting me stay out late to see a movie.

My last journal entry was almost two years ago. I stopped journaling, stopped writing my thoughts and feelings. I had anxiety. Really bad anxiety and I never wrote about good times. I always complained. This isn't going my way.. God help me with this and that and him or her. I tried to cover it up with pretty words and make it look like thanksgiving and gratitude but in all reality I was never thankful, I was worried.

I went back and read many of my entries this evening and I was caught feeling some of those same feelings. Worry, doubt, anxiety, confusion, discouragement. My journal was supposed to help me look back on my fond memories of who I was and my life at the time. When I look back at what I have written I want to cry. It makes me feel like I have made no progress, but I have. Leaps and bounds.

I have a grown up journal now. It's this blog. I am afraid that one day I will look back and be disappointed in what I have written. That I will have complained and not taken the time to relish in my moments of utter happiness. I want to remember my God moments, the times when Maury and I fall in love all over again. I don't want them to be faint wisps of air in my memory. I want my journal to look back upon for encouragement. Not of bingeing and purging.

So here's to the God moments and happiness so thick that it lays heavy upon my soul as I sleep.